“Judgemental. Hypocritical. Homophobic. Bible bashers. Tragic dress sense. No sense of humour. Believer in Fairytales.”
Christians have been accused of all this and more over the years… which is a trifle judgemental in itself, but we’re not here to judge… We’re here to dispel all those myths. Well, maybe not the dress sense thing. Our worship leader sports a sweater that would make Noel Edmonds weep.
It’s true, some Christians are nutters. Some football fans are racist thugs. Some gingers go up in flames when you stick them in the sun. But not all.
The human race is imperfect, and that’s what makes us human. God gave us free will, so if a Christian acts like a prat it’s not because he’s a Christian, it’s because he’s a human.
The Riverdale motto is this; “Treat others as you wish to be treated” which is basically a steal from the Bible, but if everyone just treated other people with kindness, compassion, and oodles of love then the world would undoubtedly be a better place.
WHAT DO WE DO?
We chat, sing songs, pray, drink coffee, and eat cake. Sometimes we do the hokey pokey (if we’re really letting our hair down). Riverdale is primarily a Christian church. Although we do hire out the hall five nights a week for Slimming World (Monday), dog training (Tuesday), bingo (Wednesday), AA meetings (Thursday), RAC and Green Flag meetings (alternate each Friday).
WHEN DO WE DO IT?
- 10:30am – Kick off with tea, coffee, and cake.
- 11:00am – The worship band drown out the small talk with their “everyone stop talking and sit down” song.
- 11:05am – Pastor Peter invites an unsuspecting member of the congregation to read the notices and announcements.
- 11:15am – Happy clappy worship time!
- 11:45am – The speaker takes to the pulpit to deliver his or her sermon*.
Yes, women are allowed to speak. This isn’t Old Testament days!
- 12:30pm – You’re free to leave. Well, you’re free to leave at anytime, but now you’re free to leave without being frowned upon.
Peter occasionally spouts some “colourful” langue during his sermons. It keeps the congregation on their toes. Last week he dropped the “F” bomb, but only for shock/comedic effect. At least that’s what he told his bosses at Riverdale HQ.
*As a rule we keep the sermon down to 45 minutes. This harks back to the days when Riverdale recorded the sermons on a C90 cassette.
Everyone is welcome. Having said that… if you’re a convicted killer who’s just escaped from a maximum security prison then we might chain you to a radiator until the police arrive… but we won’t turf you out. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay, straight, pan, bi, trans, foreign, or Kanye West. You’re welcome at Riverdale Church.
Seriously, if Zombie Hitler shuffled in sporting an Iron Maiden t-shirt we’d fetch him a chair and ask if he wanted a tea or coffee. We’re that liberal.
WHAT DO WE BELIEVE?
First and foremost, Jesus is the epicentre of our worship. Even if you don’t subscribe to this belief, you must agree that he was an all round good egg. You might disagree with certain passages in the Old Testament and even the actions of many people who proclaim to be Christian, but you really can’t argue with stuff Jesus said. It was all bang on the money. The world would be a better place if everyone followed his teachings, and that’s just hardcore fact. Sadly, most people don’t (including Christians) so that’s why the world is so screwed up in the head.