Church attendance currently fluctuates between 2-56 people in the congregation. The numbers are usually determined by the weather, the Riverdale boot sale in the adjacent car park, and the guest line-up on Channel 4’s Sunday Brunch.
However, the leadership hierarchy (a.k.a. Those Who Must Be Obeyed) is made up of four hardcore, stalwart members of the church… and a chap called Jonathan Skimpy. Together we make things happen. That’s not necessarily *good* things, but things certainly happen. From sermon/worship prepping, to ensuring we have enough cake for the ravenous hordes on a Sunday morning. Last week we arranged the church picnic, and this week we’re focusing on evicting the mouse from the kitchen. He’s been holed up in there for over six months, like Julian Assange in the Ecuadorian embassy. We’re hoping that a piece of Gorgonzola on a string will entice him out.
As with any family, church or domestic, we don’t always see eye-to-eye. In fact Jonah Jones and Jonathan Skimpy are often at loggerheads over something, and it occasionally comes to blows. The other day there was a massive stand-up argument about the lack of chairs in the building.
Our webmaster will be updating this page with full team member profiles in the unforeseeable future. We never look beyond six weeks, so who knows, maybe we’ll get round to it in seven or eight weeks.
We’re currently waiting on a few people to complete their bios, and supply us with appropriate images. Mr Skimpy submitted a photo of himself milking a cow, and I just didn’t think it was appropriate for a church website. He sent a second photo of himself having a tetanus jab, but he’s bare-chested, so again, I didn’t think it would be suitable. We’ve tried to zoom in on his face, but he’s biting down on a leather belt, like he’s about to have his leg chopped off without an anaesthetic.