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RE: Untimely demise
There’s a girl at work who I think is hot stuff. In fact I’ve asked her out several times to no avail. The only hurdle standing in my way is her boyfriend, who, by all accounts is a bit of a plank. I’m not sure about the ethics of this, but could people please pray that he is killed by a plague of locusts or something? If the locust thing doesn’t sit well with you then maybe a swarm of bees – or a pack of wolves?
After scores of complaints it has been decided that all church members currently on the tea and coffee rota will be requested to partake in an intensive ‘tea and coffee making’ training day. This situation has arisen since numerous people have complained about their tea or coffee being too weak or too strong, sugar being contaminated by coffee granules, lipstick marks on coffee cups, fire-ants found nestling in the sugar jar – that kind of thing. Some of you may recall an incident last week when Phil Copper threw a carton of milk over Jonathan Skimpy. This had nothing to do with Jonathan kicking Phil’s dog (that incident has since been resolved) this incident arose simply because Jonathan didn’t like the way Phil pours milk into the cup prior to the hot water – he prefers it the other way round. The training is really designed to give people a better understanding of other people’s personal needs.