From: Bob Edwards To: Peter Loftus Sent: Thursday, April 22, 19:15 Subject: Your house visit Dear Peter, Thank you for gracing me with your presence this morning during your round of pastoral house calls. It was nice to meet you! I don’t get many visitors – but I guess that has something to do with my personal hygiene habits. You were rather coy about the whole thing, but your facial expressions really gave you away… Yes, I was watching you though the kitchen hatch when I made coffee. I noted you left that to go cold – but it’s okay, I finished it off. I’m sorry that you didn’t get to see Malcolm, as I think you’d like him. Hopefully he’ll be around when you next come and visit. He lives under the floorboards now, and tends to come and go as he pleases. It’s not an issue for the RSPCA or anything as he escaped from the cage of his own free will. I think he grew tired of the kids poking him in the belly with felt tipped pens. I do often coax him out from the floorboards with bits of chicken and spend time petting him, so it’s not as though he ever gets lonely. You can also buy these frozen bags of dead mice now – which he enjoys. Obviously I stick them in the microwave beforehand! Peter, I did take onboard everything you said, and I do keep meaning to come back to church one day. I was just a little put off last time by the reception I received upon my arrival. You’ve seen that scene in An American Werewolf in London where the two guys walk into the pub? Well, it was a carbon copy of that. Yeah, I know this was over 10 years ago, so I guess I need to let go of my rejection baggage. Anyway, it was nice of you to come calling after digging out my church file. *So the Riverdale dossiers do exist!* We both know I originally left under a cloud, but hopefully we can now bury the hatchet. I’ve not even used it since I struck the worship leader over the head with it!