Put on your dancing trousers… Riverdale worship kicks off at 11am every Sunday!
Our guitar-lead worship team wouldn’t look out of place on stage at Wembly stadium. Although they’d probably be bottled off at Glastonbury. Think “Songs of Praise” meets “Jools’ Annual Hootenanny” after taking a mood altering stimulant. That pretty much sums up our hardcore worship.
There’s no hymns, no pipe organ, and no school choir. We have a guitarist who loves long solo riffs, a bassist who loves controversy, a drummer who keeps himself to himself and a keyboard player who’s not part of the official line-up. Together they form… the Manic Church Preachers.
Please note: Riverdale employs a strict zero tolerance policy on tambourines in church. As of 1st August 2016 this ban will extend to anything that emits a noise, including whistles, guitars, pocket keyboards and triangles.
You’re reminded that all bags are searched upon entry and anyone found bearing a tambourine (or other instrument of torture) will be asked to hand over the offending item for the duration of the service. In fact NO musical instruments are to be wielded within the congregation AT ANY TIME. So please be aware that if the worship leader catches you strumming his guitar before the service he’ll probably give you a darn good hiding. He worships that guitar more than Jesus, which is a stronghold we’re battling at our one-on-one counselling sessions. In extreme cases (last week someone arrived with a monkey and an accordion) you’ll be denied entry and subjected to a pastoral visit at a later date.
If a member of our welcome team finds anything upon your person that arouses suspicion (i.e. items that could be used to produce noise) Riverdale Church reserves the right to confiscate (or destroy) those items. For example… last month one man arrived with a comb in his front pocket and some tissue paper in his rear pocket. He was as bald as an eagle! On another occasion a man arrived with two spoons tucked into his socks, and he wasn’t even on the tea and coffee rota that day!
It’s unfortunate that we have to implement such strict security measures, but it reached a point when so many people were playing instruments that it sounded like a bunch of monkeys had crashed the stage at The Last Night of the Proms. I appreciate that some you of can play musical instruments very well, but the majority of you clearly have skills in other areas!